so long, stink town!

So first, the truck was a day late. Apparently, they didn’t have a ramp on Monday when they were originally supposed to deliver it. The truck is kind of no good to us without a ramp, so they delivered it Tuesday.

But not until 5p.m. All day our mantra went something like this: “I sure am getting stressed out that we still don’t have a truck.” “Don’t think about that now. I’m not going to think about that now.”

And we had to schedule the pickup for today (Wednesday) before 4p.m. so that we could get the full weight ticket before the weigh station closed.

When the truck showed up, it couldn’t park in our driveway because it’s too slanty. As is the road in front of the apartment. So we called the housing company and they said we couldn’t park it on the lawn or we’ll be responsible for the damage. The driver asked if he could park it two driveways over, and I said, “Hold on, let us call the housing company again to double check. I don’t want you to set the thing down and drive away, only to have someone from housing drive by five minutes later and say we have to move it.” We all agreed that was a good idea. Housing says great, no big deal, the apartment is unoccupied anyway.

SURE AS SUGAR, five minutes later there’s a knock at our door. It’s a disgruntled looking woman in business-casual holding a clipboard asking why there’s a truck in the driveway two apartments down, because she’s trying to do a move in and the renters aren’t happy.

We hashed it out, explained that we called and that it would be picked up tomorrow, there was no place else to put it. Okay, she’s still disgruntled, but there’s nothing anybody can do. We apologize to the neighbors, carry on.

Anyway, what was supposed to be a leisurely three day pack-up turned into a quick overnight. They said they’d call us at 9a.m. today (Wednesday – I’m repeating this because I have no idea wtf day it is) to schedule the pickup time.

So, like good little movers, we were up until midnight playing IRL Tetris with headlamps, and up at 7a.m. to finish the job while hungrily scarfing McDonald’s breakfast. And I should add that getting our full-sized couch DOWN two flights of stairs by ourselves wasn’t nearly as much easier than getting it UP than I thought it would be.

About 8:15 this morning Alan got a call from Pack and Ride. They nonchalantly asked if there was any way we could leave tomorrow but NBD nothing’s definite. We told them firmly NO FUCKING WAY and hung up.

“That sure stresses me out.” “Don’t think about that now. I’m not going to think about that now.”

About 9 Alan missed a call from them.

He was finishing up the truck while I was upstairs cleaning. He came up, walked into the kitchen, gave me a giant smile, a peck on the cheek, and announced:

“The voicemail says there’s no way they can come until tomorrow at noon!”,  with an inflection that would probably be better suited to the sentence “I just got a blow job in the driveway!”

I screamed, fainted, then woke up and stuck my head in the oven and wailed at Alan to TURN ON THE GAS. TURN ON THE FUCKING GAS, JUST DO IT. A few deep breaths later, we regrouped, Alan explain briefly that the oven is electric, then called Estes (the company Pack and Ride had contracted to do the pickup since we live in the boonies) and explained that we have to be out of housing since it’s a 3-day weekend, we have 3 hotels booked that we can’t unbook, my wife gets her period some time in the next three days, AND we’re blocking someone ELSE’S driveway. They acquiesced, told us pick up would be before 1p.m. today (Wednesday).

They were here at 12:30, our stuff is gone. The house is clean. I’m sitting here with an open bottle of Pinot Grigio in my hand and no cups in sight. Final walkthrough tomorrow morning, and then we’re on the road.

Our total weight was 6140, which is about 2,000lbs MORE than we had when we moved in, WHICH BLOWS MY MIND. I have no idea how this happened. There’s nothing to BUY here. One trip to ikea?  Four shelf units, a coffee table, and a desk? Two thousand pounds?

But that’s awesome for us because the truck was a flat rate – so long as we’re inside 12′ (we took up about 9′), the price is the same – but the GOVERNMENT pays by the pound. We’re going to make over 3Gs on this move.

So it all worked out.

it begins. Number of times that tarp almost killed me? Once.

Too bad we're Apt C! Also, see that step over to the right? Doozy.

Also, that's a head wacker. Number of times I hit my head? 2.

6000lbs, 9' square.

bye stuff.

the only pillow left in the house.