status update > 140 characters

So, we have apartments in mind. The first on we saw is (are you sitting down? you should sit down.) $1795/month. Keep in mind that the new GI bill is paying for that, no prob. It is gorgeous, 3rd floor (top, corner), 1br, wood floors, some utils included, no parking, almost exactly a mile from school. It is (you should probably sit down again) ON ASHBURY STREET (yes, of Haight-Ashbury fame), about 3 BUILDINGS DOWN from Haight St. I can SEE Haight St. from the front windows.

This one, to move in TODAY, would be first month plus security (one month), and comes to $3,590. Which leaves us with 0 dollars.

We have ANOTHER one we’re thinking about. Oddly, same layout, a few blocks closer to the school (so only a few blocks from Haight-Ashbury). The apt is *a little* nicer (dishwasher, newer bathroom/kitchen amenities), is on the 6th floor, has a rickety turn-of-the-century elevator (complete with sliding metal door), has an absolutely breathtaking view, and is cheaper ($1595? I can’t remember, Alan has the numbers), AND is rent controlled. HOWEVER, to get in the door, it will cost us over $4,300, because FOR SOME REASON, the company that owns the building needs a $500 deposit for the dog, and a $300 for the cat. AND the security is like 1.5x rent. I DON’T FUCKINGUNDERSTAND the need for two deposits. But whatever.

SO. If you remember our math from earlier – Bank Account – $3590 = 0 – you probably can understand our frustration.

OH WAIT, NO YOU DON’T BECAUSE I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT THE GOVERNMENT OWES US $4000 IN MOVING FEES.

SO. We can just deal, and get into the more expensive apt today and stop pissing away money in this hotel. Fine. But, if we do that, we’re losing in the long term because that ANNOYING $800 pet deposit pays for itself in four months.

Which brings me to right now. Alan is pacing around on the phone with USAA trying to get a personal loan. We’re trying not to be impatient and jump at the fist apt, AS COMPLETELY AWESOME as it is, because we know it’s wiser in the long term. But man-oh-man would it be cool to live on Haight – Ashbury.

There was another apt in there, to. It was up the hill from Haight-Ashbury, had THE CRAZIEST view I’ve seen yet, and was $1600. Problem was we’d be living in the basement of a house with hubs-and-wife doctors and a baby. It felt like we’d be living in someone else’s house. It was quieter and nicer, and probably my car was less likely to get broken into, but I’d feel super awkward having people over or stumbling home drunk at 2a.m. (In fact that hill was so insane, I don’t think I COULD stumble home drunk at 2a.m. IT WAS STRAIGHT UP.) Plus the “1 BR” was a room so small you couldn’t even fit our queen bed, AND you’d have to walk through it to get to the bathroom.

So there ya go. Cross your fingers that USAA understands that WE TECHNICALLY HAVE THIS MONEY. Just not YET.

** UPDATE **

USAA fail. Back at square one. Now we call the other landlords and PLEAD AND BEG that we can either delay the pet deposit or argue them out of it.

** UPDATE UPDATE **

Well, we just gave a man we’ve only met once a money order for $3355. So WE ARE IN. And we’re thrilled. I’ll never be completely square with the fact that to keep off the streets I had to take a MORE expensive apartment because it somehow cost less to get my foot in the door, but hey, ya gotta live. And if this is the worst that befalls us, we are a lucky bunch.

We won’t have internet until we get paid on the 14th, so until I duck into a cafe, this is it! I’m sure I’ll keep FB/Twittering from my phone. Thanks, lovelies!